You can listen to the audio version of this post below.

This is a part of the October 2020 blog challenge. You can find the other posts here.

When is the last time you did something for the first time?

To kick off my October challenge around the theme ‘change’, I am starting where any good writing project starts - at the beginning with ‘firsts’.

Change inevitably brings with it firsts. As circumstances change, I often find myself starting over again, and encountering new “first times” in the process. This year has brought numerous firsts, especially over the summer.

Soooooooo many firsts! My first time covering a cake with marzipan. My first time trying sourdough bread. My first time at a bridal shower. My first time making strawberry jam. First time in a new office (twice). First time I was in a bridal party. My first time watching my sister walk down the aisle and say “I do” to her own new beginnings. Some of these firsts were thrilling, some were overwhelming.

I’m not gonna lie, I struggle with change and firsts. There is nothing like trying something new to make me feel vulnerable. Firsts can be difficult because they require me to be a beginner. It means I’m not good at it, and that can get me in my feelings. I might even have to ask for help, and I never quite know what to expect in terms of the result. There is nothing like starting over to make me feel like I am regressing, like a kid on the first day of a new school year. And like that kid, I will admit that over the years, sometimes there were squeals of delight, and other times there were tears and tantrums associated with my firsts.

However, one place where I have found firsts to almost always be tolerable, and even enjoyable has been in my kitchen when I am baking. For me, reading through new recipes, thinking about substitutions I might make if I can’t find the ingredient here, carefully measuring out those ingredients, watching the change in textures, and dreaming about something delicious coming out of the oven activates my sense of wonder when it comes to firsts. 

And so today I am going to reflect on what helps me feel excited about my firsts during baking, and apply those to life at large, as the first times keep coming.

So I bring you my 4 rules of firsts.

1. Never name it till its done - I stole this from the folks over in America’s Test Kitchen. There have been so many times when I tried a recipe and it did not live up to the photo in the cookbook or on the website. And while it might still have tasted delicious, I was often disappointed because it wasn’t what I expected it to be.

Adopting the mentality of naming it after it was done meant that I would suspend my comparison to a photo from a professional (who undoubtedly was NOT making it for the first time) and instead give it a name based on its merit, and make a decision about it based on what actually came out of my oven.

(I also discovered that sometimes the photos in the cookbook aren’t food, or they were food enhanced by things like wax, to make the photo look perfect, and it laid to rest the last of my comparison vibes!)

When I brought this idea into the real world, it was about not letting my expectations cloud the reality of the outcome that I had - which might be amazing! I have learned in many situations in life, that our expectations can kill the joy in what we have, when we are expecting it to be something different, something better. There were so many things I tried over this summer, and I caught myself being disappointed in the outcome because it didn’t match my expectations, when in reality it was pretty good for a first time. And so I adopted my favourite kitchen trick - never naming it until it was done. This allowed me to see things for what they were, instead of as a comparison to what I hoped it would be based on what others around me were doing.

2. It is indisputably the best... you have ever made. This is just a fact. When I do something for the first time, it immediately becomes the best of whatever I ever made (name of course being determined after I have made it!). I don’t know why but the label and the hype of something being the best (whatever) I made, and getting excited about it often changes my mood.

For me this showed me that I actually have some control over my mood when I do something for the first time, and it is a reframe that sometimes makes me excited! Similar to the previous point, it is about suspending my expectations, and celebrating the outcome that I did achieve. 

3. Trust your instincts. Even though it might be the first time I am baking something, years of baking has given me instincts that come in very handy in the kitchen. I realize that the same is true in life. Even if I am in a new situation, I can use instincts that I honed in other areas of life to help me feel a bit more grounded as I am doing something for the first time.

The first time in my new offices, I focused on connecting with the people I was working with - something I do every day during my work.

The first time I had to make my new commute on the bus, my instinct told me to do a trial run before I started, and I did so that I could feel more comfortable I would arrive on time on that first day.

(And on the day of my trial run, I followed it up with a trip to the beach so that I was looking forward to it rather than dreading it!) Even when I am in a new situation, I still trust my instincts, and that can definitely help as I navigate the situation.

4. Treat it as an experiment. This is my favourite rule of firsts. It allows me to bring that sense of wonder to the task, and to think of the outcome not as a fixed target but instead as something experimental that can be tweaked, changed (or tossed out!) if need be. It reminds me that just as things change, I can continue to bring changes into the process and hopefully make it more of what I want it to be. It is a reminder to me that I can start again. 

These reflections remind me that first times can be full of wonder and magic, and remind me to seek out those things during times of change. And they remind me that if all else fails, I should bake something.

I would love to know - what helps you navigate first time experiences? Do you feel vulnerable and scared, or excited and full of wonder? (or a bit of both?) And when was the last time you did something for the first time? I would love to know about it in the comments!

I send you big love from a small island!

PS - earlier this year, I fulfilled a long time wish and learned how to make Baguettes when the LOGOS Hope book ship visited Barbados. It really was an amazing first! That is the photo at the top of this blog