October challenge week 1 - 5 Questions

It is October!! Those of you who have been following the blog for a while might be aware that I run a challenge in October where I write a blog post ever day. This year, I have decided to stretch out of my comfort zone a little, and do something that I ALWAYS wanted to do - which was to start a podcast! The radio loving child and teenage version of me is probably jumping up and down in glee!! 

I have wanted to start a podcast for so long, but I always felt hindered by the tech. How would I record it, edit it, upload it etc? How would I record interviews? So I put it on the back burner for quite some time. But this week I decided to do it anyway. What changed? Well first of all I found Anchor - and this allows me to record straight from my phone. Despite the various websites I read that talked about the pros and cons of different platforms, I decided to go with the easiest one to use. This allowed me to take my own advice and remove all the obstacles that I felt were holding me back, to see if I really have the will to record my podcast and put it out into the world. I am actually pleased with the sound quality! In addition, I am realizing that making a podcast - especially one that I speak on solo - isn’t as easy as everyone makes it look. However, that is one of the reasons that I try these experiments and challenges, so that I can learn what it is about the process that I actually enjoy (or don’t), how I could make it work for me, or whether I should find somewhere else to put my energy. And, I am realizing that if I get ok with “making the messy version” as one Cathy Heller from Don’t Keep Your Day Job says - then I can just keep hitting publish until it gets better. 

My podcast is called “5 Questions” and it is loosely based on the idea behind this blog. I enjoy writing and talking about life lessons, but there are also some other questions which I love the idea of answering, as well as chatting with other people and finding out how they would answer them. So I chose 5 questions, and each day I will be answering one of them - either solo or with a guest. So anyone who wants to jam with me on a “just for fun” podcast during the month of October - send me an email at 39andcountingblog@gmail.com. And as I promised on one of the podcast episodes, here is a summary of the questions and answers from this week. (This is what happens when you don’t have much ability to edit, and you get tired of re-recording - you make promises that you then have to come back and keep!!!)

Episodes are less than 10 minutes long, and most of them are way shorter than that!

Day 1.  What is the biggest lesson I learned from writing and publishing my first book?

(You can listen to the podcast episode here, or read about it below!)

As you may know by now - my book is available on Amazon!! I published on 16th of September, and that occurrence was a culmination of writing, coordinating the self publishing process, and getting out of my own way enough to hit publish. It was the accomplishment of a lifelong dream of mine. So I assumed that on the big day when I launched and shared it with the world, I would feel amazing.

Imagine my surprise when I felt extremely ill, and all of the worst things I thought about myself came to the surface! I felt bad about my handwriting, I worried what others would think about the book, and I was exhausted from the combination of marketing and the stress of fighting my objections every step of the way. In truth - I didn’t think that was what it would be like to publish a book, even though my friend Annick Ina (book coach extraordinaire) always says - get a fresh pair of pants (since you are probably going to cr*p yourself). I expected to feel “aglow with the lights of a million fairies “ (a quote from Phoebe on Friends). Instead, I was looking for somewhere to hide. 

This brings forward the answer to today’s question - what is the biggest lesson I learned from writing and publishing my first book. For me - that lesson was that things almost never go the way we think they are going to go, despite our best laid plans. For me - I genuinely thought that I would have published almost a year ago, so it took way longer than I expected, and there were many unexpected obstacles to overcome. That being said - it was also right on time. The delays allowed for the most amazing magic to occur! I got to work with Annick and her team to have it laid beautifully! It looked better than I ever dreamed it could look on the inside, and outside - and the cover was thanks to my best friend Renee Muco. This brings me to the second part of the lesson - even when things don’t go how you think they should, they always go exactly how they are supposed to. And sometimes that is difficult to accept in the moment (at least it is difficult for me) but I try to remind myself of this when things aren’t going how I want them to go. 

I am curious - what is the biggest lesson you have learned - either from a recent event or in your business or life over the past few years? I would love you to comment below!

Day 2. What is one of my favourite ideas/concepts?

(You can listen to the podcast episode here, or read about it below!)

This is a concept I got from Dr Brené Brown. She is a wonderful author, researcher, thought leader - you name it! (And if anyone knows her personally - I would love to ask her one of these questions!!) She often refers to “The Marble Jar” as a way to build trust, and this is how I think about it in my own words.

In a nutshell, I would say that trust is built one marble at a time. And people can put marbles in the jar through the little things they do to show you that they see you, they hear you, and that you can trust them in those little things. It could be remembering your allergies, or your parents’ or children’s names or something about them. It could be keeping a small confidence, or holding space when you are having a hard day. The more marbles in the jar, the more trust is built. Check out Brené Brown talking about it here, and tell me below how do you build trust in your relationships?

Day 3. What is one thing I used to believe that I no longer believe?

(You can listen to the podcast episode here, or read about it below!)

I really enjoyed this one! When I was young, I mostly read fiction, and if I was reading a non-fiction book, it was probably a text book. I loved getting lost in a well written fiction, and in fact, I always imagined myself writing a big fat fiction book with a juicy plot. For me - fiction was all about escapism - and I liked it because it wasn’t about the real world. These days, I think differently about that - especially after having written both fiction and non-fiction (and having read a LOT more fiction and non-fiction). In fact - I believe that fiction can be a great teacher to us about the world around us, and in some ways it can be better than non-fiction. I feel like fiction keeps allows us to step back from the subject, and can have less of a tendency to trigger us than non-fiction - especially personal development. I have learned so much from fiction - about the world, about other cultures, and even about myself, that I have definitely changed my opinion on believing that fiction is not about the real world. Even when it takes place on a made up world. 

And, I can still get lost in a good book. 

What is one thing that you used to believe that you no longer believe?

Day 4. What is one thing that you wished other people would understand?

(You can listen to the podcast episode here, or read about it below!)

And for Friday this week, my question is what is one thing that you wished other people would understand? For me this is the answer to the question which comes first - courage or action? I have observed that people always wait for courage before taking action. After I began sharing my blog posts, as well as after I published this book, I had people saying to me that they wished they had the courage to take their own brave action - whether it be starting a podcast or blog, writing their own book, or even sharing their story with others. They wish they had the courage to speak out in public, or speak up at work. And they are waiting for the courage to come so that they can do these things.

However, I have found that it is through doing these things that you can build courage, one small action at a time. It is taking the action despite the fear that builds courage, and if you wait for the courage to come, you may never take the action you long for. Sometimes we look at people doing amazing things and think that they have some magical power, called courage, which allows them to take these actions, when almost all the time their courage was built on one small action at a time. (I wrote more about this here and here). 

So tell me - what is one action that you would love to take and you think you need the courage for? I would love to cheer you on!!! And I would love to know - what is something you wished other people understood?

This weekend I am jamming!! Look out for my “Lets Jam” episodes this weekend.

And in the meantime I send you big love from a small island!!