Fear of the unknown and change

This is a part of the October blog challenge. You can find the other posts here.

Earlier this week, I wrote about how perfection and fear of failure keep me tethered, and if I allow it can prevent me from making changes in my life. Today I talk about the third factor that stands in my way of deliberate change - fear of the unknown.

Fear of the unknown is a common fear, even in the face of the reality that we have no true guarantees in life, and there is so much unknown. I know that in my life, the knowledge that there is so much unknown can prevent me from making change, because I crave continuity - even if that means I am tethered to habits or situations that I don’t like. It’s like that old saying - better the devil you know. I know that there is always a level of uncertainty with change, and sometimes it feels like too much. I know that I have been feeling that way especially this year. It has been hard to make deliberate changes at a time when it feels as if there is so much changing around me that I have not chosen. 

Other times, I have other fears that want to get in on the action. Fear of rejection - and not knowing I’ll get a yes… Fears I mentioned before such as fear of failure. I’m not gonna lie - sometimes I don’t want to start when I don’t know how its going to end. 

But can I ever really know how it's going to end? And even if I did know, what would it mean? One lesson I have learned over the past few years is that I can never know whether a thing is good or bad in the moment. A loss of a job or end of a relationship could be devastating when it happens but in a year’s time it could be obvious that it was a catalyst for an even better relationship, or a business started.You could realize that what seems like a rejection could be a “dodged bullet” so to speak. 

And for a real life example from my life - an injury led to an empty calendar - plenty of time to finish my first book.

This is one of the strategies I use to make myself to take action in spite of my fear of the unknown - I remind myself that even if I know what the outcome of a single action is going to be, it might seem bad at the time, but might be the best thing ever to happen. 

Other strategies I use to tackle fear of the unknown are trusting my instinct, and treating it as an experiment. In addition, I use rituals or anchors to give me a sense of familiarity as things are changing around me. Some of my rituals and anchors include - music playlists, my favourite t-shirt or mug, or certain scents such as clean laundry, fresh coffee. I hope to write a post about rituals and/or anchors soon, and I will expand more on it then.

Do you have a fear of the unknown? How do you overcome it to take action anyway? And what is one experience that initially seemed dreadful that turned out to be an amazing catalyst for something new?

I send you big love from a small island.

PS Photo by Stephen Hateley on Unsplash